Link to Classic Fiddling Ant

Sunday, July 26, 2015

Fiddlin' - The Trump / Gaston Song


Sorry, Trump fans, but even a superfical examination of Trump's past statements reveals that he is no conservative. He is a fun candidate to read about however. He reminds me of the character Gaston from Disney's Beauty and the Beast.

TRUMP

(Sing to the tune of Gaston from Disney's Beauty and the Beast)

Trump:
Those pundits have tangled with the wrong man!

Lackey:
Darn right.

Trump:
No one says "no" to Sir Trump!
Dismissed! Rejected!
Publicly humiliated! Why, it's more than I can bear.

Lackey:
More hair?

Trump:
No . . . bear! Nothing helps. I'm disgraced.

Lackey:
Who, you? Never! Trump sir, you've got to pull yourself together.

Gosh it disturbs me to see you, Sir Trump,
Looking so down in the dumps.
Ev'ry guy here'd love to be you, Sir Trump,
Even when taking your lumps.

There's no man on earth as admired as you,
You're ev'ryone's favorite guy.
Ev'ryone's awed and inspired by you,
And it's not very hard to see why.

No one's slick as Sir Trump.
No one's pricked as Sir Trump.
No one's skull’s as incredibly thick as Sir Trump’s.

For there's no man on earth half as Trumply,
Perfect, a pure paragon!
You can ask any Tom, Dick or Chumley,
And they'll tell you whose payroll they like to be on!

Lackey and Chorus:
No one's flush like Sir Trump,
Likes to gush like Sir Trump.

Lackey:
No one's got a swell thatch in his hair like Sir Trump!

Trump:
As a candidate, yes, I'm intimidating!

Lackey and Chorus:
My what a guy, our Sir Trump!

Give five "hurrahs!"
Give twelve "hip-hips!"

Lackey:
Sir Trump is the best,
And the rest is all drips.

Chorus:
No one fights like Sir Trump,
Waxes trite like Sir Trump.

Lackey:
In a shouting match nobody bites like Sir Trump!

Bimbettes:
For there's no one as surly and pompous.

Trump:
As you see I've got greatness to spare!

Lackey:
Not a bit of him's modest or quiet.

Trump:
That's right!
With ev'ry last inch of scalp’s covered with hair!

Chorus:
No one hits like Sir Trump,
Throws a fit like Sir Trump.

Lackey:
In a spitting match nobody spits like Sir Trump.

Trump:
I'm especially good at expectorating!
Ptoooie!

Chorus:
Ten points for Sir Trump!

Trump:
When I was a lad I spent four hundred grand,
Ev'ry morning to help me feel large.
And now that I'm grown I spend eight hundred grand,
So my ego’s the size of a barge!

Chorus:
Oh, ahhh, wow!
My what a guy, that Sir Trump,
No one spews like Sir Trump,
Marries beauts like Sir Trump.

Lackey:
Then goes tromping around spending loot like Sir Trump.

Trump:
I use mirrors in all of my decorating!

Chorus:
My what a guy,
Sir Trump!


For an index of all Fiddling Ant parody songs, click here.


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