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Sunday, December 13, 2015

11 Reasons Darth Vader is a Liberal Democrat . . .

The pending release of the highly anticipated Star Wars: The Force Awakens has created an increased interest in all things Star Wars.  No character is more closely identified with Star Wars than Darth Vader. During this election season, I asked myself, "Which presidential candidate would Darth Vader vote for?" The answer is surprisingly easy to predict.

Darth Vader would vote for Hillary Clinton because he is unquestionably an establishment liberal democrat. Sorry Bernie, you are too much of a rebel to attract Vader's support. And the anti-big government Tea Party Republican candidates are a clear choice for the rebel alliance. Darth Vader would try to destroy them.

Here are the reasons that Darth Vader is a liberal Democrat:
  1. He's a white guy trying to be black.  This seems to be a trait found among Democrats.  See Rachel Dolezal or Shaun King.
  2. He is a descendant of slaves. Despite having done little to help the descendants of slaves escape poverty, they tend to vote for Democrats who created and run the welfare system that keeps them poor.
  3. He hates the military. In more than one scene Vader personally kills a leading military officer.
  4. He is okay with killing old people. Democrats are big supporters of euthanasia. Vader killed senior citizen Ben Kenobi at a time when he was not even defending himself.
  5. He is single. After a bad breakup with with wife Padme, Vader remained single. Voter surveys show that singles usually vote Democrat while married people vote Republican.
  6. He works for the government. Most government workers are Democrats.
  7. He slavishly follows a dictatorial chief executive who ignores the legislature. Vader's all in for governing with a phone or pen or lighting bolts that shoot out of hands. Same goes for the Obamanation.
  8. He doesn't own a gun. Liberals don't like guns and don't own them.
  9. He's okay killing small children and even wanted to kill his own kids. Darth Vader killed the young Jedi children in the temple. Vader is in the mode of liberal icon Peter Singer who has advocated for killing severely disabled infants even after they are born. It goes without saying that he would have no problem with abortions.
  10. His actions show he is clearly a criminal. Surveys of felons show that 7 in 10 are Democrats and only 1 in 10 are Republican.
  11. He's a champion of the dark side. The delegates to the 2012 National Democrat Convention famously denied God three times when they voted down attempts to reinstate the mention of God in the Democrat platform. The Democrats are lead by many godless secularists. They think people who believe in God and follow the teachings of Jesus should be excised from sharing their believes in the public square. They have embraced the dark side.
Until we see Darth Vader's voter registration card, liberals may deny that he is one of their own, but the facts speak for themselves . . .

Darth Vader is a liberal Democrat.

Some Democrats may object and point out that Darth Vader couldn't vote for Hillary because he is dead. All I can say is, when has that ever stopped a Democrat from voting?

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