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Friday, October 28, 2016

Top 10 Differences Between Real Mafia and #MormonMafia

Fox News commentator Lou Dobbs caused a stir the other day when he tweeted that independent presidential candidate Evan McMullin (who is challenging for the lead in Utah) was a tool of the "Mormon mafia."

We know that the real Mafia has a reputation for scary actions. How does the Mormon Mafia compare?

Mormon Mafia
Puts the head of a horse in your bed
Puts a Book of Mormon in your bed
Takes you down to the river and drowns you
Takes you down to the river and baptises you
Sends two guys to your house to “teach you a lesson”
Sends two guys to your house to teach you a lesson - really, teach you a real lesson
Forces you to pay 10% protection money to keep your business open
Invites you to pay 10% tithing to use for charitable purposes
Tell you to say your prayers before they take you to your funeral
Tell you to say the prayer before they serve you funeral potato casserole
The Godfather invites you over for wine and pasta
The bishop invites you over for milk and cookies
Donnie Brasco
Donny Osmond
Brings a shovel to dig your new grave
Brings a shovel to dig your new flower garden
Has a body in the trunk
Has a 72 hour emergency supplies kit in the trunk
Two guys at your door: “We have an offer you can’t refuse”
Two guys at your door: “We have an offer you can’t refuse”

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1 comment:

  1. This was used as a compliment by the major networks. When there was a breaking story they would ask their Mormon employees if they had any connections/contacts on the ground to help get the scoop. Most of the time they would call a bishop in the area to find assistance. The networks were amazed that they had connections all over the world..... When Romney ran for President the Mormon Mafia as essential as the world didn't understand Mormons and started attacking Romney as mormons being in a cult....however Mormon employees helped in changing the worlds perception in a positive light....many general authorities actually went back and gave special blessing to the employees as they saw this a missionary work...the major networks called there reporters in and had them listen and QA with Mormon Scholars from Harvard etc....this was a positive.....Lou Hobbs associated it with Mitt Romney and his ties to McMullin.....I think it is funny how it has evolved into once being something very positive...then mention in regards to connections to Romney...then mormons poking fun.